Poetry

Poetry
Discouraged that I can't touch you
Worried over my absentee choice of love
Every mirage has crumbled
Not even the desert remains
I wish I were floating on the moon,
But that's not true either
I'm sitting right here trying to see,
But in the dead of winter it's hard
My hanging heart hangs
By Leisa T. Mills

It doesn't matter if you experience darkness. Light and dark are fundamental parts of life. Don't be afraid to enter into the painful parts of life. You hold the lantern which means you are always safe. Faith is a lantern, faith will keep you seeing even in the darkest parts of life. The point is to not sit in the cave of darkness and shiver and shake with fear, but rather to illuminate those spaces with the light of your heart, which is faith. Happiness is absolutely a state of life that is possible for all people, absolute happiness is the knowledge of this. Knowing that at any given moment you are capable of extending the long arm of faith from your heart to anything that bothers you is powerful.

Life is so transient it sways back and forth from the moment of birth all the way until the moment of death. Shit happens, pain happens, injustice happens, no good things in every direction happen. Good also happens, good really honestly does happen. Healing happens, solutions happen, good news comes. There are two aspects of life, light and dark. It may feel that we have no control over the dark, but we absolutely have control over the light. Whenever you feel like there is no way, think again. Place your hand on your heart, and tell yourself "the heart matters most". Then open your eyes, your ears, your mind, all your senses and let the dark know that you have come to let it out of the pain, out of the shadows, and into the light were it doesn't have to hide anymore and instead will benefit from the true nature of oneness

Benefit, beauty and good, this is what i was taught. I have experienced heavy, heavy darkness in my life but it has no root, it has no hold. The light of my heart, the sword of my soul is an undefeated champion. My guts are used for all the right reasons and digests the dark into pure gold. Open up the passage ways and lead the pain to health, happiness and peace.

Way of Peace

"I am mindless and empty from full use of myself. If you want to learn to calm the mind you should try fulfilling your soul. A restless soul will never be filled from outside in. No you have to turn your insides out in full exposure. Then only by giving your absolute all and I mean really going for it,whatever it is, one hundred percent then with eyes wide open you will want for nothing." This is my own quote, i wrote it yesterday and put it on my social media. I felt so rested and unified within myself.

It's true i had given one hundred percent.  First i had a huge private function during the day where my energy field was extended to thousands of people and then in the evening i had a small group read.  Now this read was so interesting because i didn't promote the ways i normally do. I think mainly because of the time of the year, it was right after thanksgiving and i really like to rest after the holidays, because in my mind its time to get ready for the New Year. So i did super soft promotions and ten people showed instead of the normal twenty-five or so. You know the fact that i did one show every month for the past thirteen months with groups over 20 at a public venue really amazes me! I use to do Story telling shows and stand up comedy. I was always good at getting people to come and support me, but it to be for such a other worldly endeavor is awesome. In this moment i see clearly that if you offer yourself to others by sharing who you are, even through different phases the sharing is drawing people in, not the subject. The small group was absolutely perfect, 2 hours flew by like water.

Needless to say between the small group and the mid-day deal I had to be be very focused the whole day. It felt like one full day of leading a workshop. It was a successful day. I also had to turn around and get up at like five am so i could go teach the six forty-five am Bikram Yoga class in Encino. I was afraid that i wouldn't  get up or hear my alarm so i slept very lightly that night, but was in a great mood. I got up taught my class, took a class, proceeded to take another exercise class, come home, nap and then work my private business for almost five hours. It was between teaching the yoga class and taking the yoga class that i wrote my calm quote.

It just felt so good to really have to use all of myself like that. It's the feeling i used to get after a really good storytelling show, or comedy show. This feeling that you opened your whole heart and allowed yourself to be totally one with the moment. The present moment is the most important. This second right now is deciding the next. This feeling of not allowing any kind of separation in. No thoughts of fear, or worry or wondering what someone is thinking. It's almost like you are not even discerning objects, or shapes or forms even. It's not bliss though, its very grounded very on earth. To me taking true action for the sake of self and other is really what creates a mind undisturbed or plagued by suffering. You can experience peace with your eyes open. You don't need to go be alone and get rid of your ego. When you are engaged in true sharing, you are already there. Without one mind, your mind, but rather the mind of the whole. Exposing yourself for the sake of sharing your life with others. That's truly beautiful. That's love. That's ONENESS.

"I am mindless and empty from full use of myself. If you want to learn to calm the mind you should try fulfilling your soul. A restless soul will never be filled from outside in. No you have to turn your insides out in full exposure. Then only by giving your absolute all and I mean really going for it,whatever it is, one hundred percent then with eyes wide open you will want for nothing. -" Peace ❤️-Leisa

Into the Mystic.

Nam myoho renge kyo. What does it mean? Basically it means I devote my life to the mystic laws of cause and effect with my voice. There is a letter written by Nichiren Daishonin called "The Pure and Far Reaching Voice" This letter is referred to as a gosho and Nichiren is a thirteenth century monk from Japan who says just by chanting those seven syllables you are actually reciting all eighty eight thousand teachings of the Buddha, or Shakyamini. Gosho's are letters written to followers and there are hundreds and hundreds of them. Without even going into the body of this particular letter, the title itself is so beautiful and profound to me. I just love the idea that my voice can be so far and pure reaching. As i expand my mediumship audience and my connection to spirt, the other side, non-physical reality, i envision my voice circling the globe and reaching out to those that need help. I picture those people hearing me and finding me, or we hear each other and find each other.

Myoho means Mystic Law. What is that? I think of the Van Morrison song "Into the mystic". Mystic is the unknowable, the incomprehensible, that which we call miraculous. Myo means Life, and Ho means death. To open and to close. Renge means lotus flower and is used to explain the simultaneity of the law of cause and effect. The lotus blooms and bears fruit at the same time, which is a rare flower indeed. This flower symbolizes that the moment we make a cause the effect has also taken place. Chanting Nam myoho renge kyo is the ultimate cause of unification, because in the act of chanting you are causing and effecting your own life and desire as one with all that is. Total unity with oneself both within and without is absolute happiness.

When i pray i always pray to open my eyes, my ears, my heart, mind, and mouth to the truth, to see things as they really are. Not just for my clients or my groups but for my own life. A lot of psychics say they can not read themselves. I feel that i better know how to read my own life, or I should be able to see my future too. I believe that my far and pure reaching voice must also have the ability to penetrate deep with own my heart so that i may see exactly what it is that brings me happiness, truth, love. I also think this same voice should reach my heart and tell me if something is not right for me, not good for me. Of course the truth is the more you understand the nature of cause and effect the less unconsciously you act even with your own self. You also can become wise enough to know what actions actually lead to your happy endings. Of all the things the Buddha taught the last teaching, the Lotus Sutra recognizes the truth that we are life itself, and we are also death. No matter what, all life is subject to life and death and therefore is also subject, not even subject, but IS the law as of cause and effect. That's it, we already are. When you get that, then you are enlightened.

When it comes to my skills and my abilities they sure do feel totally supernatural at times, which can be loads of fun to know so much, and is what makes people think that some crazy force is behind it all or that maybe i am "more enlightened", but i know the truth. My enlightenment has nothing at all to do with my work or my skills. I was raised with an open mind and I'm lucky that i can make a living from it. Being a medium does not make me more than anyone. Recognizing myself as mystic function of this beautiful world, a mystic function just like you ebbing and flowing with the laws of cause and effect does. A friend who recently passed came into my dream last night and he kept saying "you're alive, you're alive" This effected me deeply and encouraged me to continue to share my life for my own and others happiness. To use my pure and far reaching voice is the best way to connect to the true nature of life. To connect to the the fact that we are all one; everything is.  There is no separation between self and the world.

Tomorrow night i have an Audience Read at Aum and Garden in Sherman Oak, CA. I want to share this message about being alive now, that the other side is here to help with life. They too are floating in a casual planes and they work hard to help us feel alive and happy and not all burdened by death. Someday we will,  like Van says "...float into the mystic" where maybe we can truly see what the nature of life and death is all about. Until let's open our lives to all that we can not comprehend and pull it deep into our hearts and just see if we can't know a little bit more about ourselves and each other.

Affirmative, Please.

I’m a sponge for enlightening information. I’ve been studying books like in the picture my whole life. Out of the womb my parents had me chanting the great law of Myoho, and by the time I was five years old I had excerpts of the Buddhist cannon the Lotus Sutra memorized in a Japanese tongue. Everything I am, including the consciousness to study I blame on the buddhas, hahaha, dont worry it’s a joyful blaming. I really don’t think I could have entered this life with a better system of thought and world view coming my way. Everything I study is filtered through my understanding of life and death and the mystic law of cause and effect, perhaps in contrast to more external views of the world. Even when I read the Bible sophomore year of college, my true spiritual understanding was deepened by my Buddhist education. It was no supernatural surprise when Jesus turned water into wine, the ability to turn anything from one state to another is the basis of all faith and also a fundamental scientific principal based on the laws of cause and effect. Of course the cause in faith is faith itself and the effect is manifestation of your desire. This is how the "secret" works, vision boards, affirmations etc.

I love using affirmations and have been doing it a long time. During Saturday nights group reading an affirmation came through for one of the participants. She has this amazing grandma who always makes her presence know by having me feel like fire, and then immediately like water. When the grandma was young her house burned down and then a few years later she almost drowned in the water. I feel like this grandma is still way alive and guiding this particular person. Anyway this participant had applied for a job that would allow her to re-locate to a city that she has always wanted to live. I kept hearing that she would get this job and she kept replying "well, we will see if i do". This is a fine response but spirit was determined to convince her that it was within her reach and not being determined by some outside forces, that the only outside assistance was from this grandma trying to get this women to move. So i said to her "not IF, but DO" "Do what?' She asked, "Do get this job, no matter what" i encouraged her to write this down every morning over and over again until she got this job. The affirmation was a command "Do" "DO" "Do", get this job. I fully expect her to get it, but i also know that its clear that this recipient is powerful enough to also keep it at bay. I know that this is true of myself and i know that some of my prayers absolutely could have been answered forever ago, but i was stuck in the wondering state, not getting i already had it.

Here is a favorite affirmation that i have used for years, its from Doreen Virtue card. "Thank you so much for helping me focus completely on joy and my desire for divine love, i am so grateful that all my needs are so carefully addressed instantly.". Another favorite of mine is Catherine Ponder, a true spiritual revolutionist. "I have a perfect job with perfect pay and i render a wonderful service in a wonderful way." Of course Louise Hay is a Queen among Queen and her affirmations for physical wellbeing  are so powerful. I've been healing my life with her words since I was fifteen years old. The bottom line her is that training your mind is up to you. What you read and what you fill your eyes and ears and heart and voice with are under your control. Maybe today just a simple affirmation will do, "be happy" over and over and over again until not one thought of doubt or sadness would dare interrupt the peace you feel.

Happy Tuesday, 💕Leisa

Poets night

The spine is a snake that coils 

Sucks the poison out of me

And returns it as medicine

Lucky is the nature of the 

Other side of the coin

And what goes up 

must come down. 

Return

Retrieve

Remember

Really

Believe  

❤️ Leisa 

#2
I see you in the light and my heart almost always melts/Fragments of sunbeams golden repeatedly as they get closer into my heart/ You're so blue it reminds of the sea beneath my mountains/I'm from the other side of the terrain and I almost burned to the ground but then you came and snatched me up/I am so grateful/ It's beyond comprehension; time. 

My Left foot is transiting Pluto.

I have no idea what it means about my left foot, but when i do i will tell you. Also i think if I'm going to do a blog then I probably need to make a determination to actually post daily. Realistically, that is probably the only way that i will get any good at it. Maybe it doesn't matter so much in the beginning exactly what i am writing about, but just the fact that i am somehow making a consistent effort to write every single day. There have been times in my life when i have absolutely written every single day. First off I kept a journal for years and years. Oh gosh one time though right after i turned thirty and had a total melt down I threw away all of my journals and notebooks that i had had for fifteen years.  Honestly, there are a few I want back, but i was going through a time of transition and i did not want to be lugging, literally my past with me. So off they went. I did keep however the poerty books i had put together. I also have done the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron many times, which is amongst other exercise writing twenty minutes stream of consciousness first thing every morning.

Transistions are like that, freeing, right?!?. We really should be able to let go of things and if we really miss the re-create them. The only really journal i miss from that time was from when I was a teenage runaway, and i was off on a lot of adventures, which don't worry i remember. It just would be fun to read how it is I wrote about it, i mean I was sixteen years old, totally fearless and living in my own wasteland. I will tell you all these stories someday. I even have a couple of one women story shows i have written. And before i did storytelling i was a stand up comedian, and before that i did improv comedy which is how i came to Los Angeles 12 years ago. My one women shows are called BAD BUDDHA, and KARMA: Tale of a Fat Yogi and Other Karnic Transistions. I have had a lot of transitions in my life.

I'm at another big transition again and i know despite the growing pains that the other side of this ending is a beginning worth staying strong for. I sometimes wonder at the final accounting of my life how many lives i will feel like i lived.  I have learned the art of letting go, well at least of my indenity. I'm not so sure if i have really let go of all the issues in my tissues, the things that might hold me back or make me go slow. But i do feel like i am willing to change who i am. The bottom line is we all get older and we have to deal with that! Argh, mid-life.

Tonight i am doing a private group reading at someone's house, it will just be 10 people so everyone will get a reading. Group readings can be so fasicanating because of the amount of similiarities between the participants. It might be that the majority all have the same occupation, or that all the fathers died on the same day. Ultimately these sessions are about transitions. Transistion from life to death. Transition from partnerships to being alone. Transistion from yesterday to today. The transition from grief into healing is the result i hope for.

Namaste Bitches (LOL)
❤Leisa

P.S.the picture is healthy food which is a transition from being lazy and not wanting to make my own food to one where its super easy to do it. This meal is 1 Cup of brown rice, 1 cup of mixed veggies, peppers, carrots and onions. One half of a small avocado, some Parmesan cheese on the rice, one egg, and Sriracha because i love it. Eat to live will make you feel good.

Know it all!

I'm a real know it all, that's for sure. Ever since I was little I always had an answer. I had no problem sharing it either, my hand always went up first. I was good at math, science, spelling, reading, etc. I was really good at making up stories too. Although I don't remember the name of them, my favorite books were these tiny little books that had all of the illustrations but absolutely no words at all. It was up to the reader or I guess viewer of these pictures to tell the tale. I remember sitting with the younger kids in the downstairs rooms and telling the three and four year olds what the story was. I was six or seven. Our parents were upstairs chanting for long periods of time and all of us little Buddha kids would have the run of the downstairs floor. There were two main rooms downstairs, the one with red carpet and the the one with green, the Green Room was our favorite. Just thinking about this community center which we called Kaikan, brings back so many memories I will have to write a separate piece about it. To this this day I still dream about the drive through the neighborhoods and the grounds of our center.

Ok, back to how this started, as my title states I am a real know it all. Clearly I am referring to my profession of a medium and of my ability to guide people into the future from my sixth sense. my sixth sense is basically the word psychic here, but gosh people still have so many negative attachments to a simple scientific word so I kind of don't want to use it until I have clearly defined it. First off, WTF I did not plan on making a living on knowing things, but I do. Second, being a medium and seer is not a religious practice. This is an ability I posses and as far I can tell these abilities are found within the human race and have absolutely nothing to do with any specific spiritual practice. I do of course have a strong spiritual practice, Buddhism. Third, I do not think that I am more enlightened than you, nor do I think that this ability leads to enlightenment. The final teaching of the Buddha as transmitted in the Lotus Sutra clearly states that enlightenment is the deep recognition that you are already a Buddha, already enlightened. Being alive is enough for this, and there is not one austerity or supernatural power that will make your enlightenment more so. Either you know you are a Buddha or you don't. This is the difference from a common mortal and and enlightened one.

Now this is great news and makes me wonder if my abilities are a gift, a skill, or a benefit from recognizing that I am a Buddha. Maybe it's all three.  People tell me all the time that my ability is a gift, but I feel like it is a skill or talent and that my benefit is that I can use it to bring people peace. For me it really isn't about what talent I am sharing, but is truly about that fact that I can even share it. A doctor is thankful to save lives. A rockstar is thankful to bring a smile to someone's face. A janitor is thankful that students have a clean place to learn. The list goes on, it is truly about being the best you can be no matter what. I just happen to know shit, this is how I keep myself down to earth. The last thing I want is to be seen as some special spiritual force that is outside of reality or up high. Also, connecting with dead people or getting guidance to move forward should never be about losing your own power ever! It's the opposite, it's intention is to remind you of your own faith and your own abilities to connect with life and it's environment, to connect with unity, the Japanese word for this concept is Esho Funi.

Although these abilities are very pronounced in me, every single person on this planet has her or his own spidey sense, it's called intuition. With that said, since it is my job it can be a little strange to speak up and have the courage to tell total and complete strangers that you are aware that their parent or dog or best friend passed away and that they would like to say hi and verify your own thoughts and feelings. It takes balls, but it also takes caring enough about that equality of the human experience to share with others a piece of your heart in the name of the other and help them feel like each and everyone of us matter.

The other day i was with my friend after her birthday lunch and I really wanted to get her something so I suggested that we go the crystal, tarot, etc shop a couple of doors down.  We are walking around and picking up different stones and we get to a stone I had never seen before called Green Aventurine. The stone of Opportunity. The moment I touched it I got a huge bolt of energy, and I kept a hold of it. I also got the yellow and blue of the same name. A couple dishes over I had a confusion and called the sales person over and she cleared up my confusion and then said, " my favorite is the Green Aventurine I've been holding it not stop for a weeks". I said I can see why as I opened my hand  and said "I don't want to let it go either." The sales girl left and I said to my friend "that sales girl has someone around her with an L name, it's for sure. It's a short name and ends with a y or e sound, like Lucy or Lee". I told my friend I was postive but didn't know if I should say something. However, I knew if by the time I got to the counter the feeling and knowing was still there that I would have no choice.

When we get to the counter the knowing had intensified and it was clear that this girl was about to either confirm what I was knowing or think I was crazy! So I said " hi I am a medium and with your permission I sense a communication from the other side ..." she said ok and it turnned out that the Lee was her passed fathers middle name.  In the course of my talking I revealed that I knew her dads first name, her brothers name and recent marriage and their soon to be born child as well as her deceased aunt who was a nurse. I also knew exactly what this girls dreams were and verified just about everything she had been thinking about how to market and make a name for herself. And still I knew more. When we were done she said "Wow I feel a great relief and much better about some of the struggles I've been feeling", she also said "How did you become such a know it all". I jokingly blamed it on the green stone we both gravitated towards. She also talked about the fact that she was just starting to have mediumship experiences. I said. "Stay open, open is open, stay open". Maybe that's it, I'm ok with my "gifts". It's a benefit to be open enough to share.

Note: I don't know everything, like why the F$%# I can't download a picture from my iPad since that is what I'm typing from. However by the time you read it i probably would have consulted directions from the internet..

Here's to benefit, beauty and good and to being a KNOW IT ALL at SOMETHING. Be the best at whatever it is you do. Be the expert.
❤️❤️❤️ Leisa

P.S. the name of our restaurant was Green-leaf and we had know idea we were gonna eat there when we got in the car for lunch. So it was a random experience and also i really love the green man, so just a lot of green.  Ohh and don't forget the green room from above. Green is the heart chakra.

Belief

Ok so it's about time I wrote again. I've been thinking non stop about belief and doubt. I recently read in a Buddhist text that "belief means to be without doubt" and "belief means to never entertain doubt" (The orally transmitted teachings, Nichiren Daishonin). The idea of not entertaining doubt is much easier in my mind then just ceasing a kind of thought all together. i'm treating these statements as the same for the sake of contemplation. Doubt is considered an arrogance or darkness in that it obstructs the ability to see oneself as the fundamental light that you are. So I am practicng affirmations this week that are simple and simply repeat the two above statements.  For the most part I think that belief means a tremendous amount for things.

However, I do not think that belief alone will get you were you want to go.  The other morning while teaching yoga, I graduated from Bikram Yoga College of India in Los Angeles in November of 2006. Amazing that is has been eleven years. I have taught every week since then save for a few vacations a year. I also have maintained a personal practice of at least for times a week. Anyway, I told the class that I became a teacher so that I would never quit. And really that's the truth, because I had quit before. My first bikram class ever was in May of 2001, I was actually taking yoga when the twin towers went down. I remember being so thankful that I was engaged in a peaceful practice at this time, and I was also with my friend Kim and we had plans to go back and chant for an hour; so double peace!

when I got to the Boulder bikram studio way back then I was twenty-eight years old and still one hundred pounds over weight. I instantly intuited that this was IT for me and even on that first day wanted to become a teacher which five years later as I said I did. The owner let me do work trade and  in exchange for classes I worked the front desk. The style of yoga is hot and at that time was very strict (thank goodness) and I had to wear shorts no matter what. I would get extremely overwhelmed by the sight of my legs in the class and essentially have a high level panic attack and run out of the room basically in tears and sit in the shower and cry for a few minutes and then go back in. Eventually I stopped leaving the room to cry and I would just cry in the room. After about a year and a half I quit. I quit for like almost two years. A year and a half after I went back I went to training because I did not want the healing I needed to be halted. Even in training which was a nine week crueling process of no sleep, anatomy, dialog clinics, 2 classes a day and lectures I would break down during class. One time the shit that was coming up, trauma from childhood was so intense that I cried and crawled through the whole class, but there was no way in hell I was giving up.

I had zero beleif in my ability to change. I didn't even possess enough conscious to have the belief to become what I am today. I guess I could say that I possessed a belief in my never give up spirt, but even with that did I not actually hold the belief that I could? So when I said to the six forty five am class yesterday at Bikram Yoga Encino that "I became a teacher so i wouldn't quit", i also said "i don't think i really believed i would ever lose the one hundred pounds i needed to lose", i realized that action might come before belief. That action can lead to belief, that even if you don't believe that certain action and lifestyles will take you there anyway. Beleif without action is nothing more than theory. Consistent action without belief can still yield results. Results lead to faith. Faith is to believe. To believe is to be without doubt. I have no doubt now that i will lead a healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life. Frankly to change something that you really never believed could change feels like a miracle.

So the next time someone tells you that you that have to believe more, or get more faith, it might just be the action you are taking. Beleif counts for lots, but not for everything. That's why the word "entertain" doubts is useful to me. My incorrigible disbelief was so strong, but I didn't entertain quitting and still got my ass out the door and moved. I was kicking, screaming, and crying, but i did it  anyway.

❤️Leisa

Detour!

Hello!!

So i just want to start today off by saying that just because things happen in a difficult way it does not mean that you are not on the right track. Everyone jumps from one structure to another way of life differently.  I am talking about breakdowns, maybe pretend you can hear Robert Plant belting out Zeppelins, "Communication breakdown/its always the same/im having a nervous breakdown/drive me insane!". Remind me to some day talk about what really is a nervous breakdown anyway.  All of our human emotions get such a bad rap. Except for bliss, everyone frickin loves that one. Personally i need a little more passion then bliss.

Sometimes honestly the only way your own consciousness can get your attention is to kick and scream.  You might out of the blue get in a fight with someone you never fight with, or you may unexpectedly lose something you cared about. These moments do not feel good at all and can really bring a lot of old baggage to the surface. It's a Detour, re-route, lets go another way. "Tommy can you hear me?" As your own perceptions rise and you allow it to be for some good reason and just listen you will experience a trail of feel good synchronicity.

For example, yesterday was really a weird day. It was like 102 degrees out in October so its dry and dumb feeling. The kind of weather that produces agitation. My own perceptions were on the rise and details and info for my both my audience read tomorrow and a very large private party on Saturday were starting to get my attention.  My physical empathy was way high and the moment i started to move in my morning bootcamp class, i literally could feel everyone physical pains around me. Right foot, cramps. Left knee, ouch. Lower back, whats that? This is pain was previously not felt until class started.  My ears felt like the bionic women, super sonic, and the instructors yelling at us to move found me in my head saying a lot of negative shit back.

Usually I can relax, calm myself down and get back to the love and good feeling in my body. I remember before i left the house thinking that my energy field was getting a lot wider than i thought it would since i really didn't need it yet. Finally at one point i got such a bad pain in my side, I realized that to stay might have made things worse because i might of told the whole room to just "SHUT THE F UP, I CAN HEAR WHATS IN YOUR HEAD"! This stuff usually doesn't happen much because i know how to turn it on and off.  No matter how i tried, i could not turn off someones  very loud mind. So i actually left, half way through, i just left. I have only done that one other time in 5 years at this place, but i needed to before I made it worse! I had a yoga class i wanted to take later that day, so i knew i would sweat more, and the 30 min i did do was still exercise. I love to exercise, feels so good to move my body.

So i get in my car and go, and i feel very good about it. It was like i was on hyper focus. Let me just say before i continue, i listen to my intuition, i listen and take action. I have been practicing listening to myself my whole life and i don't get bogged down in the details and this is a benefit. What i mean is that it was so clear that i had to leave, that i didn't fight it, i went and i didn't question. I get home and eat breakfast, relax start to read, write, email etc. Booked so parties, etc. And then all the sudden i had to sit down and chant, like right then. I listened, since it was clear to me at this point that this day was all about the listening. The sitting down to chant was like "Leisa, you need your voice today and your voice now"! A name came into my mind the moment i started and three min later that person called. And my voice was exactly what it needed to be, this was a call that needed to be answered then. Honestly, it was clear the whole morning timed itself for this call. I forgot to mention that i almost went to a 90 min yoga first, a real debate for me, had i done that or stayed at the boot camp i may have not had good fortune to answer that call with such a clear head. It was the clear head i needed.

I live by my sixth senses, but we live on earth. All my gifts and ethereal skills are nothing if i can't live on this earth happily and joyfully. I feel like because i didn't hate myself or get upset because i had to leave, that  i knew myself better i was really able to extract the real jewel, the timing of the moment. Later, driving to yoga i saw a license plate in front of me with the name Ginny, i have a friend with that name and spelling so i naturally thought of her, but out loud i say Jennifer huh? Jennifer. When i walked into class the teacher said that maybe a girl named Jennifer that i didn't know would join us.I chuckled because i had just said that name out loud. She didn't show, oh well. One hour after i got home my phone rang, but i didn't recognize the number. Like most of the world i usually let it go to voicemail, but it was so clear that i should answer it. "Hi, you don't know me, but a friend referred you, my name is Jennifer! Oh Hi Jennifer, I've been expecting you! HAHAHAHA!

That was so uncomfortable to leave and have to listen to my voice and what i needed to do and not worry what people thought of me, or decide i was a loser. Instead, i was able to listen to my voice the rest of the day so loud and clear. I ended up with a couple of booked parties, a few privates and some random people coming to my show and get to meet a lovely person named Jennifer.  Oh and that very  personal phone call all timed with Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, just to prove that i was TOTALLY in rhythm and it was not a F'D UP DAY! ! All in a day. Go step by step. Its easy to got lost in the sensations of all around, but you are always number one!

Alright, hope it all makes sense
have a great night
Leisa

Listening

Tonight i was reminded of two things. First, the truth about being in pain, and second how easy it is to write ourselves a script about our lives and stick to it. I talked to a person today and immediately her dead father of four years came through and started naming the people in her family and i was excited to give this women a lovely medium reading from the other side. It was clear however very quickly that this women had a different agenda or way that she wanted to connect with her father, and as i was talking she told her father to shut up and stop being so controlling and that she was in control now.  Well it doesn't take a psychic to realize that clearly her life had been a painful one under the control of her father and really she didn't care what i knew about him at all, she was still working through rage and disconnect. She was asking him through me if he remembered this and that, i tried to explain that her dad is with her and that there is no summoning needed, but the only word that worked was YES.

The perfectionist in me wanted to say, "hey, that's not how it works, you don't tell me i tell you", but that really wasn't what this women needed because she was in pain and by the way she was talking it was clear that she also didn't want or wasn't able to change the stuff coming out of her mouth or her script. I won't lie, at one point i asked if she was intoxicated because the sound of her voice was so distant and she was calling him names. but she said no. I choose to let her connect with him in whatever way she wanted and towards the end my patience was rewarded and a deceased grandma came through which distracted her and lightened her up and then she was able to hear somethings from her father including apologies and proof that he was near by.  She was asking for love and support from her deceased loved ones, but when ever that comfort was approaching she would shut it down and i realized that sometimes the story of suffering is so large in us that even the light can feel obtrusive, invasive and painful because it threatens the darkness we might live in.  Giving up states of being or ways of life even if we suffer in them can be difficult because it is truly like breaking away an identity.

I remember how hard it was for me to lose weight and change myself.  I would hold onto my big legs and cry because i was going to miss them, miss me, miss this persona and person that everyone knew.  I grieved over the losing of my old self, so afraid that i was losing my identity. Honestly at times losing over one hundred pounds was like going through an identity crisis.  I mean i wasn't really able to get over the hump, like below one hundred ninety pounds until after forty years of age.  Forty years is a long enough time to never change. It took a lot of telling the old voice to shut the F$#@ up! As i hung up with this dear women i prayed that someday the pain i heard in her voice, that this being caught between holding onto the experience of her dead father and creating a life experience not based on him would happen and that joy would replace the angst.  After all four years wasn't that long ago and everyone grieves, heals and transforms differently. Plus these abilities i have are not for me anyway. Listening is listening. The first step in connection is listening. Thanks for listening.

p.s. i do not miss the old me at all!!!!!



Leisa

Tarot Time

OK today i feel like talking about the TAROT. I have been studying and reading the Tarot for about 28 years.  I have lots of traditional and also lots of non traditional decks. Although i absolutely don't need any tools whatsoever in my medium and psychic work, like many people the tarot is a great tool to begin to understand objectivity and your intuition.  I love the images on the cards and i love the organization of the 78 cards, the minor and major arcana and the 4 suits. Essentially, the tarot is a way or system of understanding human nature and the potentials that are continuously presented to us based on choice, happenstance and reaction.

Each suit has 10 minor cards and the also the court of King, Queen, Prince, and Page (or princess). Being raised Buddhist we have the concepts of the 10  worlds, and the tarot system has always kind of reminded me that.  The world of Hunger in Buddhist thought and the Ace of cups, for example don't have any real language or descriptive similarities at first glance, but this idea that we are constantly fluctuating from moment to moment as different states of feeling and perception is really the point. For this reason my most favorite card of all is the ACE of SWORDS. It is the sword of clear thinking and reminds me that no matter what chaos or transience is whirling around me i can hold a central thought and trust it. Thoughts such as i will pass that exam no matter what, or i will accomplish my dreams or a never give up spirit. It also speaks to trusting what you actually know about a situation and not being thrown off by others thoughts. 

I feel really lucky that my mom was so open to me and allowed me to give her one of my very first readings ever, i was 16 years old. My first deck was the Haindl deck and  I remember the six of swords came up in that reading and it spoke about her ability to be objective and not cave into emotional states that would produce doubt or confusion. This was true of her that day with me of course, but also this is actually my mothers strength. Someday i will tell you about when i robbed a Dairy Queen or about when my parents got divorced and you will understand the deep value of being objective. :0)

Now, i do love the swords, but i am actually not a rigid thinker at all. Talking to dead people lightens you up considerably and one must be able to fluctuate between different states of thought quickly and accurately. However, our minds can really create a lot of problems and there is a card for narrowness of the mind and that is the Prince of swords. The eight of swords is a person who is absolutely a prisoner of his or her mind and can't make decisions no matter what, always interfering with forward movement. The two of swords is a card of peace and just feels like a breath of fresh air. 

1 of swords - trust your intuition

2 of swords - Relax, be at peace

3 of swords - trauma is effecting your peace of mind

4 of swords - draw a truce with your mind

5 of swords - your fear of losing is to great

6 of swords -  use objectivity 

7 of swords - Let go of doubt and confusion

8 of swords - be quiet in your mind meditate

9 of swords - let go of pain in any form

10 of swords - don't quit

Prince of Swords - let go of narrow and limiting views

Princess of Swords - Don't let rebellion get the best of you

Queen of Swords - remove the masks and tell the truth

King of Swords - If you don't quit, you win!!!!

Hello, writing the list this way reminds me of an average commute on the freeway, anyone else? I will make a list like this again for the other suits, and BIG Cards in other blogs. That's pretty much going to be it for today, but i really do want to encourage you to see the cards as more then just predicting the future, but to understand its deeper value as a tool of self-reflection that points out when you are hot headed, or so sad that you can't see the truth. Or that your happiness and sunshine are hard earned and you should be proud. Below are some cards i just turned. Can you read them? Crazy how all those swords landed in center.  I also posted this on Instagram. My Instagram name is Pinkytlee.

Totally crazy that all those swords landed in the middle.  I DID NOT stage this LOL~~~  In this case the swords basically say,  SHHHHH relax your mind, its useless to keep being a prisoner of it, the indecesion is based on old wounds.  So I'm gonna let all that mental chatter go and let the outside cards be the truth!

Have a great night
Leisa

Good evening everyone. This is my first blog and my first blog entry and I sincerely hope I keep it up! My primary occupation is as a Medium (yes, like Theresa Caputo) and Psychic. I also teach Bikram Yoga and have been teaching it for 11 years. I currently teach just one class a week because my Medium and Psychic life is very full.  I actually love my job and find it endlessly fascinating but like anyone with any career when you are tired it can be overwhelming. So as long as I get good amounts of rest my work in this world feels like the beautiful light of unconditional love. I made a vow for happiness for myself and others, and everyday I re-commit to creating benefit, beauty and good.

I was also raised Buddhist from birth to a mother and father that chanted Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. Basically this translates to "I devote my life to the mystic law of cause and effect through my own voice or faculties". My Mother still chants and has for almost 50 years. My father stopped chanting and so did my brother when he was a teenager. However, my stepfather practice chants and has for 40 plus years, and I chant and always will because to be connected to the rhythm of the universe is a very exciting and special way of life.  Hopefully through this blog I will be able to share all my thoughts on Buddhism and also on my natural abilities to connect to the other side and basically know amazing things that I really should not. Of course I believe that we can all know everything, but that"s just me.

As I said above I also teach yoga. I graduated for Bikram Yoga College of India in the November of 2006.  I was 33 the time and still over 200 pounds. My highest ever was 240and now I am under 140 for life. I overcome my life long obesity through consistent exercise, 80 percent clean eating and deep desires to change my mind about my own self. Bikram yoga is true yoga in that its style of teaching and practice can create absolute mind body oneness.  "Heal your spine and you will heal your life".

OK, so this is just a beginning and I can't wait to share all of my stories with you. Medium stories, Buddha stories, crazy stories, everyday stories etc.  Oh and if anyone actually sees this blog before Thursday Oct, 26 and you live in LA, then come to Aum and Garden in Sherman Oaks where I will be doing a public group reading in an audience setting. Its at 7 pm and its just $20.

Have a great night everyone and please, please, please see more than there is to see, it's the only way!

Leisa