Medium mondays

Medium Monday

I had the fortune this week of doing three separate group readings of 12 people each. I did two on Saturday and one on Sunday. The Saturday ones were at the same persons house, the host who arranged it all. The first group was friends mostly of the host and a really wonderful time and two and half hours straight and could’ve gone on forever. It started when I walked into the house saying out loud “whose Marty”? Turns out Marty was the 20 year husband of one of the group participants. Marty was still alive but the participant mother, brother and sister weren’t and this was their ways of connecting right to his heart. So many details come out in these groups and I could repeat so many things, but. Feel the important thing again is that somehow each person in the group gets that we are not alone, that we are all the same, and that everyone lives and dies. One funny highlight for me was I looked at this one guy and said “I believe your sister has passed away”, “He said no, out my wife’s sister died” (and technically his sister because of marriage, I’m just saying” Anyway, I starting laughing and said “and she’s not here”. The whole room erupted in laughter. “She was supposed to be she couldn’t and sent him in his place”. What a sweet husband. I then called out the sister by name. The host pulled out her iPhone  and filmed the rest of his read just for her. This sister had died in a crash, on a school bus when she was 23. Looks like she was a awesome, funny, brilliant and very alive kind of girl, and really played up the fact that the husband came to represent her sister.

The Saturday evening group was with the Host’s family. I had read with the host a couple times and truly these readings were mind-blowing. I have a very strong connection with her and seemed to know everything. In our first reading I was able to connect and find out, with out her telling me that her mother and father had both dies. Her father shot her mother and then shot himself, she was twelve years old. Also at the time found it that her husbands father had died in a plane crash when he was four. Her, her husband, her sister, brothers husband and unlawful from the sister, and cousins were all present in this room.  This family had a lot of difficult deaths. When I say difficult, difficult for the living of course, having to make sense of suicide, murder, car crashes, and plane crashes, overdoses etc. Ok real quick to lighten it up, at one point during the reading I stood in front of the father in law of the host sister and started singing the Beatles song Strawberry fields forever and they all started laughing and almost crying to. Turns out he has a guitar very connected to or from John Lennon and he often visits the strawberry fields forever memorial in New York just a block from where Yuko Ono is or was, clearly he is the expert not me. I know who John Lennon is of course, and my mothers The Beatles Magical Mystery Tour was the album for me when I was a kid,  but I had not idea about the strawberry fields memorial.

Many things came through this second group. Remember, I go for a long time: two hours plus of me just straight up knowing as much as is needed for everyone is the room to get what messages they need. In a group experience you will either get a message directly from my mouth or you will hear in another’s story. You have to remember a group experience is about the whole group which is about the sharing that’s happening and everyone is listening. There was one participant in this group that wanted to listen only and did not want to be read, but was there with his and wife and they were the aunt and uncle of the host. We were basically in a circle and and he positioned himself in the “back row” or sorts, except he was the only there. I went with it, and it wasn’t negative or anything, his aunt dolly got through anyway, but it was really interesting in did not try to pull him in and made sure to keep the focus on the rest.  After he was very open with me and said that he was afraid to take the focus and wanted his wife to get the stuff, and that he enjoyed it. He’s the brother of the murder/suicide parents, the uncle of the Host.

The next morning I received a text from the host and telling me that after everyone left this same man, broke down in tears and talked about the day her parents died. He has never been willing to talk about this in over twenty years. She said that it was an incredible breakthrough for her family. So although this man just wanted to really watch, the effect it had on him was so deep and so profound I mean he just finally let that tight tight hold go. Ohh and I forgot to tell you this man and his wife also lost a son themselves. Their son died when he was seventeen, he got drunk, got in the car and crashed into a wall. Their son, the cousin of the host came through in the most amazing way with touching details and a full omission of his responsibility in his death and sincerely apologized to his mother for being so reckless. In that moment too, she let go of a heavy burden.

The next mornings reading proved to be no less intense. On the drive over, I was still completely lit from the previous day, very happy and so touched by the open communication and dialog everyone had after I left. As I was driving the tone of the atmosphere changed and I realized that I was walking into a situation that had some intense life endings and a lot of unresolved feelings lingered. This host I had never met and in fact I knew not one person in the room, alive or dead, as I had not ever read any of them not even over the phone, so when I could feel the energy get heavy I got a little nervous. Now when I say the energy got heavy I am talking about the living people’s energy of still holding lots of pain and non reconciliation with the events of these deaths. So I go in and introduce myself and kind of just start. I really need a better way to explain the whole thing before I start but I will get there. I start connecting with light pats, and with in a couple of trying it wasn’t going, so I stopped, lets re-route this. Immediately I said there is man here that has killed himself and so we need to start with the person who has been effected by this suicide. Turns other the wife, and two daughters, and their husbands, plus aunts and cousins were all in the room so this suicide affected so many people int his room.

There was one daughter of this man that I was drawn to like a magnet and couldn’t let her go. I even said out loud that it was so  crazy how I was being more drawn to the one daughter of a suicide then to her mother as the wife of someone who killed themselves. Or even to the other sister just five feet from her. It was clear, that this who had not been able to reconcile her fathers death and her role in it as a young twenty-three year old. So many things came to her, over and over I kept saying let go be free, but I was coming in ways that she was not looking for. Fast forward to after the reading when I was closing things up with the host. She said her sister needed the closure and her sister wanted to hear something so specific, and she just can’t let go, etc… In that moment I realized a few things. First because the younger sister told me, I can no longer authentically give that to her and now what her healing will be on hold till someone says it right?  Closure, healing is not based on an outside function going perfectly. I remember when I was very overweight, I use to say “well, until Im not fat I cant do this”, this is a true recipe for failure. I put so many conditions on my happiness I was never going to get there. Finally when I let those conditions go the weight left me too.

I also learned, the younger sister so desperate for her big sister to heal she inadvertently prolonged it. We can not control other people. Everyone has a right to their own grief and their own processing. Look it took the uncle above a long time to let it out. If this sister wants to set conditions on her healing and her happiness or never heal, or always feel so bad like it was her fault that her dad died, that’s her choice. It is not right or wrong she is still has an amazing and loving father and children. Later I offered to just talk with her for a few minutes see if I couldn’t help her disappointment a little bit, but her sister reported she wasn’t open. I hope she allows less narrow pathways for herself and own happiness. However, whether this women finds closure or not doesn’t take away that her father is there and watching over her and doesn’t make his love for her any less, and it should not be judged by good or bad. We are supported, we are not alone, we are connected on so many level. You can choose to feel it our not.

Peace!
Leisa

Medium Mondays!

Medium Story for Monday

I remember a few days before one of my group readings last year I got a missed call and message from someone I had not heard from in almost seven years. I had just been doing these public demonstrations for a few months so the influx of awareness and energy and listening for me was always heightened and of "out of the blue" kinds of things were very prevalent. When I listened to the voice mail it was random noise, I figured the call had been a mistake. However, I used the opportunity to call this person back as those seven years ago she encouraged me to do something which led me to where I am now and what I do. I wanted to thank her for that, and let her know that her thinking of me in a crucial moment changed my life. 

When she answers the phone she said "I'm so sorry, I had meant to call another Lisa whose last name also starts with an M and but dialed you by mistake and then the connection got bad...". I told her that I had to call her back because I was so appreciative that meeting her changed my life and that I had followed her suggestion and was having great success, and now having a lot of fun with my "dead man's parties" making people laugh and heal the grief of death. As she was letting me know what she was up to it dawned on me that this was no ordinary call. In that instant I had a distinctive feeling that she had lost a friend that was like a brother to her, about the same age as her. I said "umm, so did you lose a friend that was like a brother to you and does his name begin with the letter B" She said yes and i continued and said "well this spirit keeps talking about Vietnam, turns out he was Vietnamese.

There are more details naturally that i could tell you about but the phenomenal thing about it all for me is this. That evening when i called her she was actually supposed to be at the viewing of the body of her recently departed Vietnamese friend whose name started with a B and was like a brother to her. The very Next day was his funeral. Unbelievable! She had stayed home from the viewing and was just going to this mans funeral tomorrow, the very next day. As soon as she said that she was going to the service, this very recently departed energy told me every single name of his immediate family. The widowed wife's name, his 3 children's names, and more. He said please please tell my wife i am ok, hug my children for me. 

The timing the odds, the connection with this girl that started over six years ago. The next morning i woke up and wondered how does she go and deliver a message like that, but even if it wasn't verbal she could hug his wife and children from his words and give love to the pain. I also woke up to an impression. I saw the color purple, like a crayon in the shape of a heart, and I saw doves. Later on that day she sent me a picture of the memorial program and a picture of a cookie.  The program had a picture of him surrounded by doves and the cookie was a sugar cookie, with purple frosting heart and another dove. The facts are awesome and amazing when they are so easy to connect to. However the true real phenomena is not my knowing things. For me it the mind blowing timing, synchronicity, rhythm. We are connected, physical bodies are just one aspect of life, we can not be separate from others. I could go on and on about all the sliding glass doors that got that message delivered, but I hope you get the point. Love never dies; it is the bridge. 

❤️ Leisa

Medium Mondays

 Medium stories on MONDAY!

Jessica and i have been friends for a long time, millions of years it seems. Her father John had been sick for a long time before he died. I remember watching her be by his side for as long as possible, those two were so close and he was a kind and loving father. Naturally, when he passed i wanted to be there for my friend, and although there where significant messages and affirmations on the day of his passing and surrounding it, plus lots of stuff even while he was sick, what happened a few weeks later was the nuttiest and most heart warming of all.

At that time i was still not public with my mediumship abilities, only the people closest to me knew. However, I was still getting up in front of groups as a storyteller, and before that it was standup and improv comedy. So one night shortly after Johns passing I decided to tell the story about Jessica and what happened the day her dad died. This was the first time i was going to talk openly about this aspect of me. I self promoted as always and put the time and date on Facebook, but did not put what the story was about, I was probably hoping no one would show up, so that no one would think that I was crazy. I didn't tell anyone personally, not even Jessica, and as far as i knew she was in still in Colorado celebrating the end of her dads life with family and helping her mom and brother. 

You could imagine my great big surprise when five min before the Story show started Jessica walked right through the door. She actually did live in CA, but Orange County was fifty miles from me, which if you live where we do that might translate to a two hour drive. It was a Wednesday and the storytelling started at 7pm so this would have definitely been true of that evening. Jessica has never been to one of my storytelling nights ever in the years I had been doing it. She absolutely did not know that I was going to talk about her and her father at all. When I asked her what possessed her to come to this she said "I just had this deep sense that I needed to go". Well, I am sure glad she followed her intuition, and that traffic complied, because after my story was finished I was able to ad a spontaneous epilogue; Jessica herself. I made her stand up so everyone could see. Everyone clapped and smiled for her, which to me was her dad saying to Jessica "good job, thanks for taking care of me, you deserve a standing ovation" and "thanks for coming and listening to OUR story." The heart knows best we really should learn to follow it ❤️Leisa Mills 

Medium stories

I met Amy in Middleboro, MA on a special project. She had decided to come last minute so that she could help take care of her best friends new born baby as it was the baby's parents that brought us all here. I was hired as a medium so no one was to shocked when at lunch I began to talk to Amy about a young man that had passed away in her life. Ok, Amy might have been a little shocked because she had not had this experience before. I told her lots of things and she verified it all. When she was fourteen her boyfriend just a couple years older then her had passed away in a car accident, his name was Bryan. Other spirits were trying to come through, but at the moment Bryan was center stage. After lunch Amy just had one question "where is my niece"? To be honest I thought that I was about to be a psychic detective and locate a missing person. Without clarifying her question I sad KT, KT, KT. Well, she did not know what that meant. I guess I thought her niece was hiding out in Kentucky. However, Amy's niece had passed away and she wanted to know where she was buried. 

I flew back to LA and she drove back to PA from MA with her son, who was also at the project and coincidentally was named after Amy's deceased boyfriend, except she changed it from Bryan and spiced it up. After our lunch reading and all the love Amy received from Bryan she stopped in CT to visit his grave. She had not been there since she was fourteen over twenty years ago because of pain, fear and grief. She felt strong now though and not afraid of death. She brought flowers and dusted off his grave and was able to bring closure to an area that was in need. Well, what happened next is WILD! She leaves and sits in her car for a few, she can still see Bryans tombstone, all the sudden she looks beyond his grave and guess what? It was the grave sight of her niece that she was asking about. HER NEICE WAS HERE AT THIS CEMETERY. RIGHT NEXT TO THE DEAD BOYFRIEND. WHAT? QUESTION ANSWERED. BOOM.

The KT? It is actually what they call her nieces uncle, he is the father of Amy's daughter. Sometimes in the moment it's hard to make the connections so even what should be like "oh ya, I know KT, thats my...". It's hard when your mind is waiting to hear something else. The fact that we couldn't put it all together and didn't have the time to either, let her stay focused on Bryan which was more important because the answer to her real question " where is my niece" was literally with Bryan. When her niece passed it was to much to bare, so she wasn't ready to know or ask anyone where she was buried, but on that special day she was able to face this death. In fact, in a wild turn of events, she was led right to it. Absolutely all signs point to the question being known before she even asked it out loud to me. There is so much I could say about how "Beemer", which is what they called the niece, was trying to get through earlier at lunch with Bryan, but it's not important.  What's important is that this very special niece is as vibrant as ever in spirit and answered her Auntie Amy's question in a very very special way; and freed her from her fears of death. ❤️ Leisa 

Poetry

Poetry
Discouraged that I can't touch you
Worried over my absentee choice of love
Every mirage has crumbled
Not even the desert remains
I wish I were floating on the moon,
But that's not true either
I'm sitting right here trying to see,
But in the dead of winter it's hard
My hanging heart hangs
By Leisa T. Mills

It doesn't matter if you experience darkness. Light and dark are fundamental parts of life. Don't be afraid to enter into the painful parts of life. You hold the lantern which means you are always safe. Faith is a lantern, faith will keep you seeing even in the darkest parts of life. The point is to not sit in the cave of darkness and shiver and shake with fear, but rather to illuminate those spaces with the light of your heart, which is faith. Happiness is absolutely a state of life that is possible for all people, absolute happiness is the knowledge of this. Knowing that at any given moment you are capable of extending the long arm of faith from your heart to anything that bothers you is powerful.

Life is so transient it sways back and forth from the moment of birth all the way until the moment of death. Shit happens, pain happens, injustice happens, no good things in every direction happen. Good also happens, good really honestly does happen. Healing happens, solutions happen, good news comes. There are two aspects of life, light and dark. It may feel that we have no control over the dark, but we absolutely have control over the light. Whenever you feel like there is no way, think again. Place your hand on your heart, and tell yourself "the heart matters most". Then open your eyes, your ears, your mind, all your senses and let the dark know that you have come to let it out of the pain, out of the shadows, and into the light were it doesn't have to hide anymore and instead will benefit from the true nature of oneness

Benefit, beauty and good, this is what i was taught. I have experienced heavy, heavy darkness in my life but it has no root, it has no hold. The light of my heart, the sword of my soul is an undefeated champion. My guts are used for all the right reasons and digests the dark into pure gold. Open up the passage ways and lead the pain to health, happiness and peace.

Way of Peace

"I am mindless and empty from full use of myself. If you want to learn to calm the mind you should try fulfilling your soul. A restless soul will never be filled from outside in. No you have to turn your insides out in full exposure. Then only by giving your absolute all and I mean really going for it,whatever it is, one hundred percent then with eyes wide open you will want for nothing." This is my own quote, i wrote it yesterday and put it on my social media. I felt so rested and unified within myself.

It's true i had given one hundred percent.  First i had a huge private function during the day where my energy field was extended to thousands of people and then in the evening i had a small group read.  Now this read was so interesting because i didn't promote the ways i normally do. I think mainly because of the time of the year, it was right after thanksgiving and i really like to rest after the holidays, because in my mind its time to get ready for the New Year. So i did super soft promotions and ten people showed instead of the normal twenty-five or so. You know the fact that i did one show every month for the past thirteen months with groups over 20 at a public venue really amazes me! I use to do Story telling shows and stand up comedy. I was always good at getting people to come and support me, but it to be for such a other worldly endeavor is awesome. In this moment i see clearly that if you offer yourself to others by sharing who you are, even through different phases the sharing is drawing people in, not the subject. The small group was absolutely perfect, 2 hours flew by like water.

Needless to say between the small group and the mid-day deal I had to be be very focused the whole day. It felt like one full day of leading a workshop. It was a successful day. I also had to turn around and get up at like five am so i could go teach the six forty-five am Bikram Yoga class in Encino. I was afraid that i wouldn't  get up or hear my alarm so i slept very lightly that night, but was in a great mood. I got up taught my class, took a class, proceeded to take another exercise class, come home, nap and then work my private business for almost five hours. It was between teaching the yoga class and taking the yoga class that i wrote my calm quote.

It just felt so good to really have to use all of myself like that. It's the feeling i used to get after a really good storytelling show, or comedy show. This feeling that you opened your whole heart and allowed yourself to be totally one with the moment. The present moment is the most important. This second right now is deciding the next. This feeling of not allowing any kind of separation in. No thoughts of fear, or worry or wondering what someone is thinking. It's almost like you are not even discerning objects, or shapes or forms even. It's not bliss though, its very grounded very on earth. To me taking true action for the sake of self and other is really what creates a mind undisturbed or plagued by suffering. You can experience peace with your eyes open. You don't need to go be alone and get rid of your ego. When you are engaged in true sharing, you are already there. Without one mind, your mind, but rather the mind of the whole. Exposing yourself for the sake of sharing your life with others. That's truly beautiful. That's love. That's ONENESS.

"I am mindless and empty from full use of myself. If you want to learn to calm the mind you should try fulfilling your soul. A restless soul will never be filled from outside in. No you have to turn your insides out in full exposure. Then only by giving your absolute all and I mean really going for it,whatever it is, one hundred percent then with eyes wide open you will want for nothing. -" Peace ❤️-Leisa